It's been awhile.

Thanks, Lawrencia, for making a comment. The autoblog sent me notification which also reminded me that I actually do have a blog.
Today has been a day. I find myself feeling very badly because I had to remind my children of an agreement that we made a few months ago. I agreed to keep Leslieann's beautiful new son until she found childcare for him. I said I would keep him through the end of the year (he would be 6 months 0ld), AS LONG AS SHE WAS ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR CHILDCARE. Tonight I found myself having to repeat and remind her and her fiance of our agreement. Now I feel like I am letting them down because I feel like I am keeping Chan at the expense of me joining the rest of the world. I could always take him places, but it is hard for me to get that carseat in and out of the car. I am absolutely exhausted after that.
Chan is so precious, but I have done all I can, or all that I want to. I told Thomas that there is just no backup for me. I want to be able to enjoy Chip's visit over Thanksgiving. Have not seen him in 2 years now. He has a new daughter I have never seen and 3 other children I want to enjoy. And of course his wife Linda. Bernie's family will be joining us and perhaps my Dad. There is so much I want to do to prepare for all. It is hard with a baby.
I don't know what to do now. I nearly called for Lauren but all that would be doing is getting her to take sides. Whatever. There is no good ending to this story.